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Secrets Secrets Are No Fun, Secrets Secrets Hurt Someone!

Welcome back for honesty part 2, what to do when you have secrets that you are keeping.  Secrets always, and I mean always have a way of coming to the surface. Often times they are right when we do not want them to and they can impact our lives in a way bigger way than they may have if they came through at another time.  The reality is we all have secrets in our lives, things we keep from certain people around us. Some of our secrets are harmless and maybe others could be very harmful to you or those around you. It depends on how you live your life and the choices you make every single day.

Our decisions can lead to us needing to keep secrets

The first thing I want to talk about is the behavior that is occurring that is causing us to have to keep secrets.  If a behavior we have a choice over is causing us to have to keep a secret from people then we really need to stop that behavior.  We need to stop doing whatever it is that causes us to have to keep these secrets. It’s time to change the behavior get help to quit whatever it is and make some new habits that don’t require us to keep secrets.  

Friends can help us conquer the behaviors in our lives leading to keeping secrets

Get the friends that you can trust (remember the ones we talked about here) and get their help to quit the behavior that is causing the secrets.  They can help you stay accountable to the goal of stopping and they can challenge you to finish what you set out to accomplish.  That is step one, because getting rid of that behavior or habit is important and will allow you to get rid of the behavior causing you to need secrets in your life.

Get your secrets out of the dark and shine a light on them, thats freedom

Step two would be bringing your secret out of the dark and telling those who could be affected by it.  Now it is very important to do this in the right environment at the right time and under the right circumstances.  Do not just throw that secret out there in the middle of a big group or when the environment is not correct. Depending on the secret that you are letting out the person hearing it for the first time might be pretty shocked,  They might need some time to think about it and they might have some questions for you.

Make sure the timing is right, and you are patient with whoever you are telling your secrets to

Make sure you have some time, and some patience to work through it with them.  Some of these secrets might be pretty dark and deep, and they might really cause the individual hearing it some pain, especially if they are close to you and it involves them in any way.  You cannot control how they react to you telling them, you can only control how you present it and how you handle the aftermath of letting it out.

Decide the timing, but be ready for anything.  In the end getting the secret into the open will give you freedom

It is completely up to you when the timing of releasing that secret, and I will not promise you that it will not have some ill effects on relationship around you. Make sure the timing is right and everyone is open and honest through the process.  I can’t stress that enough because depending on the secret you are letting out there might be some waves and it might be painful to you and the others involved.

Live a life of honesty and make good decisions and you won’t even need to keep secrets

Remember, the best way to avoid all of this is to live a life that doesn’t require keeping secrets.  But once you get those secrets out of the dark recesses of your heart and into the open and a light is shined on them, they lose their power and they lose the ability to hurt you and those around you down the road.  This is a serious process, don’t attack this lightly or without a lot of planning but don’t forget it either, it will give you freedom that you may have never felt and will take a huge weight off your shoulders. Don’t rush through this process and don’t underestimate the other individuals response or pain but let them process it and be there when they are ready to talk it through with you. You can do it, you can get rid of these secrets and you can live a life filled with honesty and integrity!

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