Some of us have a temper and when it blows it’s like watching a dramatic tv show or something. I know, it’s not you but some of us have some serious tempers! I have recognized many times in my own life where I have let my temper go and the outcome was never a positive thing for anyone involved. The first thing I had to do was to build up my self awareness and once you can start to recognize that it is a problem it allows you to go to work on what is causing it as well as creating some boundaries to help you manage it.
Self Control Can Get You Through Any Tough Situation
Usually if we have a temper and we regularly lose it, it is definitely a self control issue. The things outside of our bodies that we cannot control should not have enough control over us to make us lose our tempers. It’s really as simple of a concept as that. No person should have that amount of control over your emotions that you would allow them to get you to a state of anger so great that you lose control. Why would we ever let someone have that control over us? When we lose your temper we do things we normally wouldn’t and usually regret what we did. Once when I was a teenager I got so mad at someone I punched the side of a garage as hard as I could. Unfortunately the siding was a wooden composite with sharp ridges all along it and I unfortunately tore my hand up pretty badly. Needless to say after that I worked hard on my self control and to keep from losing my temper because who wants to go through that twice? Not that I have not messed up from time to time but it’s on my radar and I am actively working to not lose my temper.
Admitting You Have an Anger Issue is The First Step
I really think that is the difference. Realizing you have an issue and trying to work on it instead of just blindly moving through life letting external circumstances and the people around us have control over our attitudes and beliefs. You have to break away sometimes, and you have to be aware enough to know when you have a problem. Do you yell at your kids regularly? Do you get mad while driving? Are you getting angry at people at work? Do you ever feel yourself losing control over your emotions and being so angry you want to hit something or someone or even just lash out angrily at them? If any of those are the case, it’s time to recognize the problem and move to work on it before your lack of control lands you in a bad situation that changes the rest of your life.
Work Out Your Self Control Muscle
First you have to recognize situations that set you off and remove yourself from them as much as you can until you are able to build in enough self control to get through the situation safely. If you can’t and you have to be around people and circumstances that set you off then get in control of your emotions by exercising your self control muscle. It’s no different than lifting weights or working out, you have to start somewhere and the more you work on it the easier it becomes Exercise being kind to an individual that is tough to be around and actively work to forgive them (I did an entire series on forgiveness, check it out here).
No Situation or Person is Worth Losing Your Temper
We need to work on recognizing what exactly about these individuals and the situation we are struggling with? Is it a personality problem in them or you? Do you just not get along? Are they rude or mean to you and others? Are you sick of being cut off in traffic and sick of people driving like maniacs? Is your spouse annoying you? Do you have someone in your life that is demanding too much of you and not acknowledging your hard work? I am sure there are a million more issues I could list but literally zero of them should make you lose your temper or control over your emotions. You should have the ability to make it through an interaction with an annoying person in your life and not blow your temper. It’s not worth it and it won’t help anything in your life!
You can be Strong Enough to Make it Through ANY Situation Safely
Maybe you can work on it with the person and let them know something is frustrating you, talk to them and try to iron it out. If that doesn’t help you are going to have to figure out how to remove yourself from the situation or get enough self control to make it through the interaction unscathed. I really believe that if you actively work on developing self control you can make it through any number of crazy, ridiculous situations and not lose your temper. Just remember your life is so much bigger and more important than any 1 interaction that it is not worth losing it over anything. Keep your eyes on the finish line of your goals and don’t lose focus!