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Honesty is the best policy, we have all heard it but do any of us follow it or even believe it?  I know I try to, and when I read the news half the time I feel like a lot more people should be trying to follow that rule as well.  When we have a hidden secret in our life we are really just lying to ourselves. Nothing stays secret forever, nothing.  I remember being a kid and doing things that I didn’t want my parents to find out about and yet it always seemed as though they figured things out because nothing can stay hidden forever.

Every hidden secret comes out sooner or later

Seriously, everything comes out sooner or later. The problem is as we move through life we usually gain more responsibility and have more people rely on us over time so if you have a deep dark hidden secret and hold on to all those years it’s going to hurt you and those around you a lot more later in life when it comes out.  It’s really better to not hold onto these dark secrets but to get rid of the behavior and decisions causing them early in life when there are less people relying on you and less responsibility.

Live in such a way that you do not need secrets

The best way to escape the pain of a deep dark secret coming out is to not live our lives in a way that we need to keep those kinds of secrets.  I feel like that is a pretty basic and easy to understand concept in life but I also realize that we are all human and not one of us is perfect. We mess up, we do things that we don’t want to do sometimes and we make mistakes.  The important thing to remember is that some mistakes are serious mistakes and others are mundane daily mistakes. If you get in a small fender bender in traffic, that is not a serious mistake. However that same small insignificant fender bender can become a huge and life altering mistake if you were making some bad decisions and drinking and driving at the time.  

The work we are doing on ourselves can really change the outcome of a situation

If you get upset at your significant other or kids and end up getting a little loud and animated, that is definitely something to work on but as long as you recognize it and apologize it is not going to be a huge deal, remember we are all human.  Take that same scenario and add to it having a habit of getting really angry and letting everything set you off and no self control to manage these feelings and you have opened yourself up for some potentially life altering decisions. Maybe this time the anger let’s loose and you throw something through the front window, or maybe you punch a hole in a wall or maybe you even end up hitting someone.  Now it’s a potentially life altering situation that was totally manageable in the moment if you had the skills to manage yourself. See the difference in the scenarios and how they might impact your life in the long term?

Focus on being your best and living a life free of the struggles of bad decisions

When we live a life where we are focused on becoming the best version of ourselves that we are able to and we are focused on creating positive life giving relationships with those around us, the serious mistakes are much easier to avoid altogether.  When you create a habit of getting rid of the bad habits and work hard to build up good life affirming habits the struggles in life may not get so serious. If you are already working on yourself and watching the things you do it’s easier to catch yourself and steer clear of those life altering decisions and stay on the high path above the problems in life.  In my mind that’s step one to not having secrets and not having a lifestyle that even makes you want to keep secrets from those around you. Live your life in such a way that you do not even need to keep any secrets. In the next honesty post I want to discuss how to handle secrets when they are already in your life.

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