In my last post I established the need for friends in your life, now let’s figure out where to find them. Where can you find positive people that would be able to care about you and accept you where you are while knowing you can be so much more? The first thing to think about is where do you spend your time? Are you a party animal that spends a lot of time in bars and nightclubs? Do you enjoy shopping at the mall or browsing bookstores (there are a few left still right)? No matter what you do in your free time there are always people around you, and if you pay attention you will be able to tell the good ones from the bad ones. And I want to tell you a secret, everyone else is looking for people to connect and be friends with too! So many times we all feel lonely and struggle to have the time or energy to get out there and try to connect with people. If you are struggling to find meaningful friendships then maybe try to change your environment, try something new and get around people that do things you want to do.
Change your routine
If you want to start a business, go to a local business meet and greet where local business meet, Google it! find some resources on where those kind of people go. Get around the type of person you want to be around, then you can start to make friendships. If you want to drastically change your life, just picture where you want to be in 5 or 10 years, and then find people living life like that. Get around them and make friends, you will certainly see your life begin to change and it might happen quickly. It is so true that the people that surround us so often define the life that we live. So don’t just spend time around people that are exactly like you, especially if you want to make any changes. Get around people in the next stage of life, in the next stage of business and be their friend. Be a little outgoing and step out of your comfort zone, you can do it!
You are not alone
There are so many people out there and many are seeking the same thing you are, authentic, honest, lifegiving friendships. The most important thing you can do is work on yourself. Know that we all have rough edges in our personalities that may make it difficult for us to maintain good friendships. Be willing to recognize those rough edges and work on yourself to become a person that the people you want to be around will want to spend time with you. Be honest with yourself and as a mentor of mine recently said, “be willing to file away the edges of your personality.”
Making changes in yourself does not mean you are not a good enough person now
Recognize that this is not an attack on who you are, or me saying that you are not good enough as you are. I am simply stating that we can all work on ourselves and if we want to experience personal growth and development we need to be willing to make changes in our own life and personality. We cannot simply sit back and blame those around us for our lack of friendships, we all need to be willing to recognize things about yourself that make it hard to be your friend and file those away, replace them with traits that make you likeable and you will quickly find good people to surround yourself with. It’s not that you are not a good person, it’s just that we all have issues and quirks that make us difficult to live with. When I first got married I was so sarcastic it must have been very difficult to live with me, I am not sure how my wife did it. With her help and my willingness to honestly assess myself I was able to recognize my problem and able to file that away from my personality and become a more likable person (although trust me I still have a ways to go as many will attest). We all have those things, and we are all able to change no matter how old or young we are. Work on yourself and then get around people you want to be like and make some meaningful, life changing friendships. Who knows, your best friend might be right around the corner!